Friend, I believe that walls are built and wars are fought in relationships oftentimes because, to put it bluntly, we're just no fun to be with. We often lose friends or we lose the one we love to another man or woman simply because we're just no fun to be with.

Ogden Nash put it quaintly, "One would be in less danger from the wiles of the stranger if one's own kin and kith were more fun to be with." Now I don't mean you have to be the life of the party. You just have to understand that life was meant to be a celebration. Do you see the difference in that? The individual who is "the life of the party" may be the most miserable individual there. What I'm saying is, we must understand that life is a celebration and we must learn to act that way day-by-day.

And I'm not talking about faking it either-the old art of putting the up-turned coat hanger in your mouth to force a smile. No, being fun to be with simply means you must give what you have in each moment. You find something to enjoy, to be excited about, to care about, and to think about. And you share this feeling. Give it, and don't hold back. Everybody's got something exciting and the people who are fun to be with realize it and share it. Their cup overflows, and they don't mind passing it along.

Being fun to be with includes things like appreciating people, and most importantly, the people you are closest to. You know, people are designed for appreciation and you can appreciate them even though you disagree with them or even if they irritate you. You might just say, "You know, you aggravate the life out of me, but I appreciate you because you help me grow."

Being fun to be with means you cherish the differences. They're a perfect topic for a lot of humour! You see, even the people who are really struggling with difficulties are simply nicer to each other when they're having a good time.

What I'm really talking about is "mood insurance." Mood insurance for your friendships! Mood insurance for your family! Have you insured the climate for your relationships? You've insured everything else. Why not insure a climate of growth in your home and wherever you are? You do that by simply being fun to be with.

Friend, joy creates the greatest possible climate in relationships. And such a climate is contagious at home and at work. But I'll warn you, you'll need a pretty hardy variety of joy to survive some people's bad moods because it's usually the bad moods that dominate. Have you noticed that? A person in a bad mood walks in and suddenly everyone is apt to get down. Yes, your joy will have to be pretty hardy sometimes.

What being fun to be with is really about maturity. It takes a pretty mature person to laugh, and especially at themselves. And only mature persons can risk making fools of themselves…and sometimes on purpose. It takes a mature person to enjoy nonsense and foolishness, to not be so worried and self-conscious about maintaining one's image.

A French poet, rather outrageously, once said, "An intelligent woman is one with whom one can be as stupid as one wants." Well, I guess the same goes for an intelligent man.

Furthermore, fun to be with…is an attitude that can handle change and crisis which are inevitable in life, because life is full of both; but you're still glad to be alive because you're a profound enough person to have considered the alternative. It's not a matter of getting what you like, but liking what you get. You are not so afraid of fitting in or standing out or being a little different. After all, you are just a little strange!

Fun to be with doesn't mean you have to be a wit. It just means you're delightful. Delightful in your own way! You're a listener, an empathizer, an encourager. These are the people who are fun to be with. You're not the big anticipator, or the big rejecter or the big criticizer. No, you're honest, sincere and authentic. You don't always have to have a great day, but you try.

Friend, life comes to us in daily increments. Just say to yourself, for just a day…I can be fun to be with. Then, simply repeat that in the next series of days. You'll probably like what it does…and will never want to stop.

Well, if you would like some help in being more successful about being fun to be with in your everyday relationships, let me encourage you to write to Discovering A BETTER LIFE and request a FREE pamphlet titled "THE SUCCESS PLAN". Simply write to A BETTER LIFE, P.O. Box 1540, Albany, WA 6331 and you will receive your complimentary cop by return mail or email us at: abl-alb@omninet.net.au