Choosing to Forgive

P.O Box 1540, Albany Western Australia 6331
Phone/Fax: (08) 98 418 418
E-mail: abl-alb@omninet.net.au

Choosing to Forgive
Friends, Jesus had a great deal to say about forgiveness. It wasn’t that he taught only about our need to be forgiven or about God’s ability to forgive. He did that but he also spoke about the importance of humans learning to forgive each other. In Mark 11: 25-26 of the New Century Version of The Bible, Jesus said: “When you are praying, and you remember that you are angry with another person about something, then forgive him.” In another place, he taught the same thing: “Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier” (Luke 6:37, The Message) However, as we consider those challenging words of Jesus, the truth is, most of us find it difficult to forgive others or curb our anger toward those who may have done us wrong. But guess what? New research confirms the teaching of Jesus about the value of forgiving others, refusing to nurse a grudge, and letting go of slights and wrongs. A study by Dr. Kathleen Lawler, a psychology professor at the University of Tennessee, affirms that people who refuse to forgive report more stress, more illness, and more visits to the doctor than people who show grace to others. “Forgiveness is not just a religious concept, but is something we can and should strive toward,” says another forgiveness researcher, Dr. Carl Thoresen of Stanford University. “We all have the capacity to forgive - but [it] takes time because it is the most courageous act one can do.” Naturally there are some appropriate cautions here: (1) Some behaviours are wrong, and it is morally right to be offended by or angry about them. (2) It is not sinful to feel the negative emotions brought on by betrayal, violation, or injustice. (3) It takes some time to name a wrong, grieve it, and move toward forgiving it. (4) Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting an offence or reconciling with the offender. The truth remains that harbouring anger, trying to get even, or otherwise nursing a grudge is toxic to the human spirit. Because it not only robs of people of mind but can even cause damaging physical effects. The researchers insist that forgiveness is a choice to separate the offender from his or her deed and deciding to let go the negative feelings for that person. The mystery, says Lawler, is to find a motivation adequate to prompt forgiveness. There is always a price to be paid for our misdeeds… even when forgiveness is granted. Perhaps some of you may still remember the price you had to pay at the ands of a loving but firm parent. As we grow older, pride becomes a factor, and it often becomes increasingly unpleasant and difficult to ask fro forgiveness. However, it is important to ask for…and accept…forgiveness. Friends, most of us learn to ask for forgiveness at an early age. Usually it follows an act of rebellion or maybe even an accident…like breaking the neighbour’s window with a cricket ball. So, if you would like some help in this matter, I invite you to write to me for a FREE booklet titled “Accepting Forgiveness.” In this booklet, you’ll find some exciting steps that you can take which will help you to live your life more joyfully. Email me or write to me at P.O Box 1540, Albany W.A 6331. Telephone / Fax (08) 98 418 418

Choosing to Forgive

Friends, Jesus had a great deal to say about forgiveness. It wasn’t that he taught only about our need to be forgiven or about God’s ability to forgive. He did that but he also spoke about the importance of humans learning to forgive each other.

In Mark 11: 25-26 of the New Century Version of The Bible, Jesus said: “When you are praying, and you remember that you are angry with another person about something, then forgive him.” In another place, he taught the same thing: “Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier” (Luke 6:37, The Message)

However, as we consider those challenging words of Jesus, the truth is, most of us find it difficult to forgive others or curb our anger toward those who may have done us wrong. But guess what? New research confirms the teaching of Jesus about the value of forgiving others, refusing to nurse a grudge, and letting go of slights and wrongs. A study by Dr. Kathleen Lawler, a psychology professor at the University of Tennessee, affirms that people who refuse to forgive report more stress, more illness, and more visits to the doctor than people who show grace to others.

“Forgiveness is not just a religious concept, but is something we can and should strive toward,” says another forgiveness researcher, Dr. Carl Thoresen of Stanford University. “We all have the capacity to forgive - but [it] takes time because it is the most courageous act one can do.”

Naturally there are some appropriate cautions here: (1) Some behaviours are wrong, and it is morally right to be offended by or angry about them. (2) It is not sinful to feel the negative emotions brought on by betrayal, violation, or injustice. (3) It takes some time to name a wrong, grieve it, and move toward forgiving it. (4) Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting an offence or reconciling with the offender.

The truth remains that harbouring anger, trying to get even, or otherwise nursing a grudge is toxic to the human spirit. Because it not only robs of people of mind but can even cause damaging physical effects.

The researchers insist that forgiveness is a choice to separate the offender from his or her deed and deciding to let go the negative feelings for that person. The mystery, says Lawler, is to find a motivation adequate to prompt forgiveness.

There is always a price to be paid for our misdeeds… even when forgiveness is granted. Perhaps some of you may still remember the price you had to pay at the ands of a loving but firm parent. As we grow older, pride becomes a factor, and it often becomes increasingly unpleasant and difficult to ask fro forgiveness. However, it is important to ask for…and accept…forgiveness.

Friends, most of us learn to ask for forgiveness at an early age. Usually it follows an act of rebellion or maybe even an accident…like breaking the neighbour’s window with a cricket ball. So, if you would like some help in this matter, I invite you to write to me for a FREE booklet titled “Accepting Forgiveness.” In this booklet, you’ll find some exciting steps that you can take which will help you to live your life more joyfully.

Email me
or write to me at
P.O Box 1540,
Albany W.A 6331.

Telephone / Fax (08) 98 418 418