An Authentic Apology

P.O Box 1540, Albany Western Australia 6331
Phone/Fax: (08) 98 418 418
E-mail: abl-alb@omninet.net.au

An Authentic Apology
They must be the six most difficult words in the English language. However, it's not the pronunciation that stumps us; it's our egos. There isn't one of them you can't spell. And some people certainly do better with them than others. Well, are you ready for me to present them to you? To explore how well you do with them? Here are the six troublesome words: "I was wrong. I am sorry." About five years ago Charles Utley underwent cancer surgery. In the days that followed, he noticed a lump on his buttocks. At first he tried to ignore it, hoping that it might go away. However, within a couple of weeks, it not only hadn't healed but was oozing fluid. So tests were ordered, which disclosed that a surgical sponge had been left in his body. A major newspaper reported that Charles Utley's doctor did a most unusual thing. He accepted responsibility for the mistake, looked Utley in the face, and apologized. As opposed to a routine deny-and-defend strategy in such cases, the doctor told him how sorry he was. "No matter how this happened, I was the doctor in charge," he said. "I was the captain of the ship. I was responsible. And I apologize for this." Instead of getting a lawyer and suing, the 50-year-old victim chose to settle the matter privately. "They honoured me as a human being," he said. The newspaper article that I have referred to, pointed out that other doctors and hospitals are finding out that "an authentically offered apology" does wonders in heading off lawsuits. One lawyer who represents victims in medical malpractice cases was quoted as saying his job is harder when doctors own up to their mistakes. Thankfully, some medical schools in the world now have mandatory courses in communicating errors to patients and families of patients, as well as how to offer appropriate apologies. Patients can accept that doctors are fallible. What enrages them and sends them to court is someone's denial of the obvious. I'm guessing the same thing would work in your business or professional life, or in your family, or with friends who have been offended and alienated. I know it is the key to spiritual life, for the Bible teaches, "Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed" (James 5:16). Friend, as you read what I have shared with you today, are you thinking it is too risky a strategy? Perhaps you're right. But honouring the intelligence, feelings, and dignity of another person just seems intuitively right. Today, I encourage you to keep those six words handy, because they can make a difference that matters. It is possible, and necessary, to forgive and forget the mistakes of others. In fact, relationships can't survive when one person holds a grudge. That's why it's so very important to recognize the destructive patterns that prevent forgiveness and discover practical help to overcome them. If you would like me to send you a FREE pamphlet called "The Beauty of Forgiveness", I'd be pleased to do so. Just write to me at: P.O. Box 1540, Albany WA 6331. Phone/Fax: (08) 9841 8418. E-mail: abl-alb@omninet.net.au

They must be the six most difficult words in the English language. However, it's not the pronunciation that stumps us; it's our egos. There isn't one of them you can't spell. And some people certainly do better with them than others. Well, are you ready for me to present them to you? To explore how well you do with them?

Here are the six troublesome words: "I was wrong. I am sorry."

About five years ago Charles Utley underwent cancer surgery. In the days that followed, he noticed a lump on his buttocks. At first he tried to ignore it, hoping that it might go away. However, within a couple of weeks, it not only hadn't healed but was oozing fluid. So tests were ordered, which disclosed that a surgical sponge had been left in his body. A major newspaper reported that Charles Utley's doctor did a most unusual thing. He accepted responsibility for the mistake, looked Utley in the face, and apologized. As opposed to a routine deny-and-defend strategy in such cases, the doctor told him how sorry he was.

"No matter how this happened, I was the doctor in charge," he said. "I was the captain of the ship. I was responsible. And I apologize for this." Instead of getting a lawyer and suing, the 50-year-old victim chose to settle the matter privately. "They honoured me as a human being," he said.

The newspaper article that I have referred to, pointed out that other doctors and hospitals are finding out that "an authentically offered apology" does wonders in heading off lawsuits. One lawyer who represents victims in medical malpractice cases was quoted as saying his job is harder when doctors own up to their mistakes. Thankfully, some medical schools in the world now have mandatory courses in communicating errors to patients and families of patients, as well as how to offer appropriate apologies.

Patients can accept that doctors are fallible. What enrages them and sends them to court is someone's denial of the obvious.

I'm guessing the same thing would work in your business or professional life, or in your family, or with friends who have been offended and alienated. I know it is the key to spiritual life, for the Bible teaches, "Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed" (James 5:16).

Friend, as you read what I have shared with you today, are you thinking it is too risky a strategy? Perhaps you're right. But honouring the intelligence, feelings, and dignity of another person just seems intuitively right.

Today, I encourage you to keep those six words handy, because they can make a difference that matters.

It is possible, and necessary, to forgive and forget the mistakes of others. In fact, relationships can't survive when one person holds a grudge. That's why it's so very important to recognize the destructive patterns that prevent forgiveness and discover practical help to overcome them.

If you would like me to send you a FREE pamphlet called "The Beauty of Forgiveness", I'd be pleased to do so.
Just write to me at: P.O. Box 1540, Albany WA 6331. Phone/Fax: (08) 9841 8418.
E-mail: abl-alb@omninet.net.au