The Work of Helping Others

P.O Box 1540, Albany Western Australia 6331
Phone/Fax: (08) 98 418 418
E-mail: abl-alb@omninet.net.au

The Work of Helping Others
Friend, I'm always a little suspicious of the people who come toward me with the look in their eye that says, "I am going to help you whether you want me to or not." Realistically, the work of helping others must not be made too complicated nor too simple. It is viewed more healthily when considered a part of my life's true work that I am seeking to fulfil with ever-increasing integrity. In regard to this, three things are helpful to remember. 1. Don't make a nuisance of yourself. This means you will be very sensitive to the response and feelings of the person you are helping. You don't help because you're just bursting to do something. We must be careful that we're not trying to make a big deal out of ourselves instead of helping the other person. If you do, you'll try to dominate the situation. You'll march in even if No Trespassing signs are everywhere. 2. To help another person, you must open up to the self. True consideration is not just tactfulness or smiles or polite conversation. It is more than that. It is energy and intelligence. It is opening up our territory rather than just marching into someone else's. If we learn this, there is a faint possibility that we could be of some real use to someone. However, it takes a long time to take the fences down. The first step is to love yourself, to make friends with yourself, to quit torturing yourself. And, the second step is to communicate with people as genuinely as you can. 3. My friend, if we learn not to make a nuisance of ourselves, and then to open ourselves, we are ready for the third stage: selfless help. All too often, when we help someone, we are looking for something in return. You want your children to be happy so you can be happy. Motivation here is very important. In selfless help, or true compassion, we do not do things because it gives us pleasure but because the things need to be done. But, you can't begin at this stage. First, learn not to make a nuisance of yourself. Then learn to open yourself. At that point you are ready to be of genuine help to others. I hope this is a good day for you and I look forward to sharing more thoughts with you

Friend, I'm always a little suspicious of the people who come toward me with the look in their eye that says, "I am going to help you whether you want me to or not."

Realistically, the work of helping others must not be made too complicated nor too simple. It is viewed more healthily when considered a part of my life's true work that I am seeking to fulfil with ever-increasing integrity. In regard to this, three things are helpful to remember.

1. Don't make a nuisance of yourself. This means you will be very sensitive to the response and feelings of the person you are helping. You don't help because you're just bursting to do something. We must be careful that we're not trying to make a big deal out of ourselves instead of helping the other person. If you do, you'll try to dominate the situation. You'll march in even if No Trespassing signs are everywhere.

2. To help another person, you must open up to the self. True consideration is not just tactfulness or smiles or polite conversation. It is more than that. It is energy and intelligence. It is opening up our territory rather than just marching into someone else's. If we learn this, there is a faint possibility that we could be of some real use to someone. However, it takes a long time to take the fences down. The first step is to love yourself, to make friends with yourself, to quit torturing yourself. And, the second step is to communicate with people as genuinely as you can.

3. My friend, if we learn not to make a nuisance of ourselves, and then to open ourselves, we are ready for the third stage: selfless help. All too often, when we help someone, we are looking for something in return. You want your children to be happy so you can be happy. Motivation here is very important.

In selfless help, or true compassion, we do not do things because it gives us pleasure but because the things need to be done.

But, you can't begin at this stage. First, learn not to make a nuisance of yourself. Then learn to open yourself. At that point you are ready to be of genuine help to others.

I hope this is a good day for you and I look forward to sharing more thoughts with you